Life’s greatest mystery…

Why do people like beer?

I’ve never been able to get it.

At first I thought my choice was off, as I’d tried mainstream beers such as VB and Becks, and both were disgusting, bitter as fuck. Then I tried doing some research. What beers were legitimately decent? I tried focusing on certain countries that had a good reputation, like Belgium, Germany, and the Czech Republic. Thus I tried Hoegaarden, a popular brew from Belgium that was earning rave reviews on the Dan Murphy’s site. Some guys had even recommended it to their non-beer-liking girlfriends, and they’d loved it – it was so easy to drink, they’d said. Flushed with confidence, sure this would be the first beer I’d ever truly enjoy, I got some bottles from Dan Murphy’s. And it was shit. For me there was still little that differentiated all the beers I’d tasted. Hoegaarden just came across as flat and bitter.

So what now? I’ve enjoyed alcoholic beverages, such as cider and cocktails. Perhaps beer just wasn’t for me. But I continued on this idiotic quest to find that elusive beer that I could enjoy. It still hasn’t happened yet. The most recent attempt was down at the Dispensary, in Chancery Lane, where I asked the owner to recommend me an easy drinking beer. He gave me their most popular choice, and nope, I didn’t like it at all. Then I was allowed to test a Danish beer, forget the name, but no, no luck with that either. Then I ordered a Millionaire cocktail to go along with my mushroom tortellini, which was very nice.

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